Well, after about two months of putting it off, I’m finally getting around to fulfilling one of my New Years’ resolutions—to actually post on the blog I’ve had for the past six months. There have been numerous times when I have actually written things to post, but either got interrupted, stopped caring, or just didn’t think my thoughts were complete enough to actually inflict them on the internet world.
However, I am proceeding in my blog-writing with some pretty significant inhibitions.
First of all, the reason for my blogging may or may not be coming from the idea that I simply feel like I have things to say. I’m really pretty afraid of the thought that I will look back in a few years and realize that all of the things I felt like I needed to voice for whatever reason, were either misguided or out of the pure need to release my words into the atmosphere in a more tangible form.
In thinking of a good way to describe this “need,” the term “young-adult angst” seems most appropriate. “Angst” can be described as “philosophical anxiety about the world in general or personal freedom” (American Heritage New Dictionary). I feel as if I (unfortunately) still possess that college-kid desire to say things for the shock-and-awe response. I wish I could settle down and just say what I actually mean, but what’s the fun in taking things from a level-headed, balanced approach?... (Aw shoot, there’s that college-kid attitude... I'm... Mostly kidding... ;] )
Another reason I have put off blogging in the past is because although I do have a desire to release information into the world, let’s be real- I don’t know who will be reading this. I don’t really expect anyone to read it. I don’t know that I would read it if I were my own best friend. However, I haven’t decided if this is hindering me from blogging, or inspiring, in the fact that it will be available for whoever wants to read it- but I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone.
However, another aspect to that is the fact that I tend to have some strong-ish opinions. In real life, talking to most people, I probably water-down my opinions enough to be socially sensitive. To anyone who reads my blog: I may or may not know how to be socially sensitive over the internet. Whether or not I’m being “angst-y” or not, whether I have any readers or not, I just don’t want anyone to hate me. So if you happen to read my blog, and I happen to be offensive… I guess that’s the risk I take.
Finally, my last-but-not-least apprehension has been the fact that although I can have plenty to say, I don’t really know that I have much in the way of new or “better” information than the next random angsty blogger. I’m not an expert in much. I don’t know I’ll be thematic in my postings, or if I’ll just write whatever just happens to be on my mind. Ehh, probably the latter.
So there you are, all of the reasons why to or not to blog as a young, independently anxious individual.
Here goes something.
angst. (n.d.). The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Retrieved February 19, 2012, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/angst
